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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Is it time? Yes oh wait no

Daily I have an internal struggle, should we have a second child or not? If I were in Texas there'd be no question. But being away from family really adds another layer of difficulty. As I see hubby do well in his new position I see that many days of traveling are ahead of him and that's fine. It's actually getting easier for it to be just me and my little guy for 1,3 or 5 days. But adding another baby would bring on a whole new situation.

Part of me wishes that I hadn't waited so long to have my first baby I mean I'm already 34 so I only have a couple of years where being a new mom would make sense. However now that eating out, romantic vacations and date nights have been thrown out the window I'm so thankful that I did have 10 years and 9 months worth of memories of it just being the two of us. I can often find a great memory during one of our annual anniversary trips or an eventful night out with our family or friends especially on those evening when we are stuck at home and ready for bed at 8.

So here I am 48 hours of being home alone with my little guy and we are doing great and right now at 7:22 am on Jan 8 I feel like yes I'd be ok with adding another little one but I'm sure at some point today I will think there's no way I can handle that. I am thankful that God leaves it in my mind and heart daily because I really think I'm just working through my realities in order to know what I'm supposed to do. Oh and the only issue right now is that my little guy is laying on my arm so I'd have to tend to a second baby with only one arm (lol). 

So this is what's going on in my head and just needed to get it out. :)