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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Motherhood and second guesses

Motherhood is filled with second guesses. I've often wondered whether my choice to continue breast feeding my toddler is a good choice, is co-sleeping ok still even though he's 20 months old, should I be using the time out method (because I'm not), do I give in too easily??

As a early childhood "expert" I know that what I am doing is right for AJ. There are so many factors that go into parenting. There's the child's personality, his needs and of course the environment that you're in (just to name a few).I'm so thankful that my husband is very willing to let me let AJ take the lead on a lot of the things that he should take the lead on such as breast feeding and sleeping. WhileI take the lead on setting limits and teaching AJ what's appropriate. 

Now that he's 20 months I've really struggled with continuing to breast feed him. I think it stems from the American culture we are in, where nursing children older than 1 year seems to be taboo or maybe just not very common. I can go back and site research on the benefits in brain development, helping him form attachments, etc. But in the end I think: Oh no, I'm going to meet new moms at the play date and what if AJ decides he wants to nurse?? What will they think??

I honestly always thought he'd ween himself by now, but no, my little guy loves his mommy milk. So here I am wrestling with what I know is right for him (letting him self wean) and the fear that he'll be that nursing 5 year old that was featured in a magazine last year. I'm just an ordinary mom trying to do what I think is best, I'm not trying to start a revolution out there. Only time will tell what and when my little one decides he's done but for now I will enjoy the closeness that I have with my little guy. I know in a few years I will wish for this time back.